Saturday Mourning

*I'll paint you a picture of my moment. I'm sitting at a park in the sunshine. I decided to take risk and leave my laundry to come and sit in the sun. laundry is probably my least favorite thing in life. I slept in today. Which felt fantastic for a moment until I realized how late it was and how much or the morning was gone forever while I lay sound asleep. 
I'm feeling kind of sleepy and my shuffle of songs pulled up some old slow stuff that is filled with memories. I couldn't help it I'm listening and it's kind of perfect. 
I got going and made it to the farmers market to get some stuff, pretty sure none of it's organic blah blah but I figure I'll live and I want to support the idea of the farmers market as it makes me happy. I've been drinking yerba mate tea for some time I like it but at the farmers market there was no tea but there was coffee so I'm having my first cup since January and it's...well it's better than yerba mate. I'm sore from the crossfit yesterday. I'm starting to realize that sore does not mean muscle growth in quite the way I wish it did.

I always mis spell muscle and every time I do I remember my uncle John saying mus-cles (no idea how to spell how it sounded) but he was strong and then he got sick, slowly faded and then he died. I didn't see my aunt Nancy and uncle John when I was a kid. They moved around a lot. They were a strange contrast to my parents. My mother is so very anti change and my aunt nancy is change all the time as far as I could tell as a kid. We lived down the street from where my mom grew up and my aunt Nancy and uncle John lived in a different state every year it seemed. I guess at first my dad dated my aunt and my uncle dated my mom and then they switched. My mom and my dad ended up together. As an adult I think that may have been just a second place trophy for them both but neither one would have been happy with my aunt and uncles gypsy way of livingThey had kids, my cousins Scott and Stacy. Both seemed like a much cooler contrast to me and my brother as I was a fat kid and my brother was well just picture the nerd archetype star trek ect. My cousin Stacy would give me a hard time about being fat (I think she is over weight now) and I haven't seen Scott in I have no idea how long, maybe 25 years. Not much concept of family in my life at this point. 

As I get older I realize that my uncle was family and a very cool person and I didn't know him. I don't have much to remember for him and he is gone. No way for me to know as a kid, I think back to different people who died and I guess I thought things would come back around and then they didn't. I am very ware that in most cases you don't know something was the last time until much later. So here's to my Uncle John a man I didn't know but have a few fond memories of.  ​