After picture on Friday, ate a massive amount of food yesterday surprised by the scale

I'm light 
I've lost over 40 pounds and maintained a good amount of my strength. I feel like I have learned so much in the past 6 months and I see the direction I am headed. More natural in all areas. More sun, more ground less supplements and less screens. I have been on this process but using the past 6 months to truly understand the fat loss game I am now getting ready to start to transition into the next 6 month program on January 1. I need to use the month of December to re acclimate to more fat intake.  To get me deuterium results and do some traveling. I have been holding onto supplements that I would tell others to give up so that will be a change. 
This is my last fasting day before my 6 month after picture and it is on par in difficulty with the first one six months ago. In the middle I was in a groove and had fat to tap into. I'm so lean now that I think the hunger is legitimate. I'm a dry sponge. It'sd a grey day and I'm hungry for light. 
​Gonna finish strong. 

down 43.6
​six month pic on the 30th 

So much is happening and it feels right. I have done the work and now my good karma is catching up with me. It is fun to have this weight loss journey be a physical representation of the change that is going on inside of me. hard lessons have been learned. I am seeing the potential. I am getting comfortable with good things. 

I see how everything that has happened up to this point has been very necessary for me to be the person I am. I also know that these windows of opportunity don't come along very often and now is the time for me to act. 

I am moving forward knowing that I am both ok right now and at the same time in process of becoming more. All the struggles I have faced have been teachers. The next 2-3 months will bring change and I have to be ready for it. 

As I get older I am realizing that there are certain personality traits in me that are defining characteristics that I can't, and don't want to change. it is better at this point to just own it. 

I have always had very high standards for authenticity and honesty. I am far from perfect. But I am very confused  by other peoples dishonesty. It has been this way since I was a child. I remember my family fighting on the way to church and then having to act like everything was ok. I hated being fake. I wasn't an easy child to live with as I was always pointing out the inconsistencies in my house. 
As an adult I have had the same issues. I have worked with people who steal. I have seen everyone from high dollar business people down to people who are absolutely poor say and do things that are not just despicable but in my mind unnecessary. 
I worked for a not for profit when I moved to California for foster kids that was scamming grants for money. I worked selling a vegan product that I found out later had dairy in it. I watched my best friend take my business ideas and get very successful. I was cheated on in the biggest relationship I've had and didn't see it until much later. I have watched companies build huge businesses off completely fake products and on and on. 
All these things confused me, they still do. I am far too trusting and at this age I think I have finally figured out that instead of being confused i need to realize that this is the way things are. Comparative justification allows people to do any number of things. 
I have decided for me I would sacrifice any amount of success or money for something real. I think everything in this life has a plus and a minus and being aware of that is what allows you to choose what you prefer. 
Shine a light on dark things. 
Little me working in a small grocery store can immediately get attention for pointing out unarguable things it is a good reminder that we all matter. 
Think critically always and don't assume that people are honest, These lessons help me to move forward on my path which is a very different one than so many. Quantity vs quality. I choose quality always. 

A special note to those who hide, who intimidate and who use other people to do their dirty work. The punishment is built into the crime. The fear of someone with no following to speak of exposing you is the punishment for selling such ridiculousness.