The Self - Who Are You Really?

Most people know the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated. I think we can take that further and say how you treat others is how you will be treated by yourself. This is another variation of reaping what you sew. You will get what you give...to yourself. 

The most important relationship we have is the relationship we have with ourselves. This is so often missed because our eyes look out way from ourselves at others so guess what we focus on: distractions. We look for as many distractions as we can. Silence is boring for one person and relaxing for another.

We often spend so much time trying to get other people or substances or things to make us feel good. If you can learn to have the right relationship with yourself you can learn how to change yourself for the better. So many important concepts are connected to this one including self respect, self discipline, and self esteem. The conversation that you have with yourself before you do something is the most important conversation that you can have. Our relationship with ourselves' follow all the same ideas as a relationship with others. If you don't have positive relationships with others, if you lie, manipulate, or abuse other people chances are you have also done those things to yourself. If you hate others chances are you hate yourself. How we treat others is a window into how each one of us treats ourselves. We as people do what we practice as we practice lying to others it becomes easier and easier for us to lie to ourselves. The good news is that by learning to have positive relationships with others we can also begin to have a positive relationship with our self.

When someone has been struggling with an issue for a long time and they tell a friend, "I'm quitting" and often the friend doesn't believe it. Normally the person has said "I'm quitting" many times. So I'm quitting starts to sound like "I'm lying". So when the person says "I'm quitting" this time and actually start to change the other person often still doubts. The friend has to test the person to see if they are for real this time. The person has to convince themselves. You have to prove to yourself that even though you sound the same you are different. Building trust with yourself or others takes time and consistency.

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Here I am years after writing this, still discovering new levels of myself. The lies I tell myself. The things I don't want to own or look at. I have removed my chemical addictions and with the loss of caffeine I seem more than ever to be forced to look at myself. This is so hard, the illusion is so appealing. 

At the end of the day the only way to truly live a peaceful life is to see who I really am. What I am really capable of and instead of insisting that I am so good I am good because I chose to be when it wasn't easy. When no one is watching. Stay true to yourself no matter what anyone else says. Have high standards. Don't make excuses and don't apologize unless you are truly sorry. 
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