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You Can't Change While Staying The Same

9/10/2018

 
Some more universal truths are - you can't start and stop at the same time, the real concept is you can't do two things that are in total opposition to each other at the same time. This sounds simple but we try to all the time. This is the have your cake and eat it too concept. You can't quit something and still do it. You can't move forward and move back at the same time. The wisdom is seeing this and realizing that if we are moving backward the only way to move forward is to change directions. In my own life and in speaking with others it is amazing how much of the time I have to say. We don't change by doing things the same. This is key. If we are doing things the same we can't get a different result. How do we quit anything by changing things. If we choose not to do things different we choose not to change.

*How many times have I tried to get a different result from the same attempt? So many.
Back when I wrote this I didn't know much about brains or neuroplasticity. Now I tend to think about the brain first. The brain wants to do what it has always done because you have pathways that are formed. I will write about this in it's own post at some point but it is so important to remember all brains are choose function over truth. What this means is that if you have functional beliefs the brain will hold onto them even if they aren't true. maybe it the idea that a cheating partner still loves you or holding on to some belief you were raised with that is the furthest thing from factual but gives you comfort. Could be anything and this applies to everyone so just telling someone they are wrong and then telling them the truth won't change their mind but if you put them in a culture that supports the new idea the social functionality of the situation seems to slowly shift. The brain changes slowly a little bit at a time. If you want to do anything new inch your way into it over time and it will shave a much better chance of sticking.

About the writing above I would say keep trying new things. It's hard, It's hard for me. List out the things you don't want to give up, that what you need to give up. List out the things you don't want to do, that's what you need to do to grow. I don't mean anything extreme but for me I didn't want to do group activities and now yoga and cross fit have both become things I really enjoy and am so glad I tried. Find your growth opportunity and take it slowly and consistently. 
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    I was an Alcoholic
    This blog contains many of the ideas that helped me to get sober and stay sober. 

    ​Everything in Italics is me now, commenting on the writing from 10 years ago. Everything not in Italics is the 8 year old writing. In some ways I am the same but in others very different that is what make it interesting.

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