10 Justifications

           Any conscious action that a person takes has to be justified. In other words, every time you act it is because you have given yourself good reason and permission to do so. Every time you make up your mind to do something, whether it is to read this or to eat your next meal, you convince yourself that it is ok to do that thing. In other words you use reason all the time weather you are conscious of it or not. If you want to do something but can’t convince yourself it is ok to do in your own mind you will not be able to do that thing no matter how hard you try.
            I say conscious because if you accidentally hit someone with your car it was just that an accident and the person doing the hitting probably did not think it was ok to do it. This type of accident is very different from the person who says to them self that person just cut me off they deserve to be hit by a car and them proceeds to hit them. The second person justified hitting the person based on the action of being cut off.
The importance of the concept of justification is that whatever you are doing you have decided it is ok, ultimately you are responsible for that decision. In the example of hitting the person that cut you off you decided that because he cut you off he needed to be punished and that hitting him was a fair punishment and that you needed to be the one to carry out that punishment. Another person may disagree entirely but you are the one who decides. You may try to explain the reasons you felt justified to others and they may disagree, possibly everyone you tell may disagree but you will be able to continue to do that thing as long as you decide it is ok for you.
            Here is my top ten lists of common justifications. These are not the only justifications out there and these can be phrased in any number of different ways but if you really want to stop struggling you need to learn them and learn them well.
Common Justifications
1. Minimize- It's not a big deal.
2. Compare- point out someone else who is worse
3. Pay back- others did this to me before, so I can get them back
4. Self Pity- I don't matter so my actions don't matter
5. Arrogance- I am the best so it is ok to hurt lesser people
6. The I don't care lie- repeating "I don't care" to try and convince yourself
7. Lesser of two evils- I could have done something much worse
8. Identity- I define myself as an addict so I'm just doing what an addict does
9. I'm only human - everyone is addicted to something, so am I
10. Blame shifting- Billy did it too (substitute Billy for any other name that applies
and if those don't work....
11.  Screw it- no thought I want it so I do it
 
            Each one of these justifications has an opposite. The opposite is the statement that has the potential to undo the justification. I will keep the same list but after the explanation I will give it's opposite.
 
Justification Responses
 
1. Minimize- It's not a big deal -It's not a small deal
2. Compare- point out someone else who is worse -point out someone who is better
3. Pay back- others did this to me before, so I can get them back -it wasn't ok when they did it and it's not ok for me to.
4. Self Pity- I don't matter so my actions don't matter -If it doesn't matter then it shouldn't matter either way
5. Arrogance- I am the best so it is ok to hurt lesser people -It wouldn't be ok for people that think you are a lesser person to hurt you
 6. The I don't care lie- repeating "I don't care" to try and convince  yourself - you only have to repeat "I don't care" that many times about things that you do care about
7. Less of 2 evils- I could have done something much worse -you could have done much better
8. Identity- I define myself as an liar so I'm just doing what a liar does -define yourself as an honest person so you will be an honest person
9. I'm only human - everyone is addicted to something, so am I -Classic- if everyone else jumped off a bridge would you, letting the culture make your decisions
10. Blame shifting- Billy did it too (substitute Billy for any other name that applies -True and changes nothing about your guilt
 
and if those don't work....
11.  Screw it- no thought I want it so I do it - there is no stopping this one which is why when the other justifications are gone people just do it, this admitting total defeat. It is saying I have no control over myself my struggle makes the decisions. This is being totally trapped.
The key is to decide not to use justifications when it comes to the thing you are struggling with. Remove the justification and you remove the action. If you are trying to quit smoking start to think about what justifications you use to smoke. Do this before you quit smoking. Get familiar with yourself and the way that you think. Start to use the opposite side of those justifications and you will start to remove power the struggle has and then quit smoking. You will have much more success than if you quit without knowing what the struggle will whisper in your ear. 
            The smokers justifications are the same as the heroin addicts and the man who beats his wife as the child who steals a pack of gum. Now, before you think that I'm saying all these actions are the same and slam the book down don't. Realize the actions are very different but the justifications are the same. As you start realize that the justifications are not yours but instead are the same justifications everyone else uses you will hopefully stop thinking that your situation is different and instead realize that it is the same. Learn to remove the justifications and learn to remove the power from addictive thinking in all its forms.
            Once you see these justifications in yourself you will start to here other people use them constantly. Allot of the time people feel the need to say them out loud in hopes that someone will agree. Then the person can mentally shift the blame to the that person. These are also powerful if you have kids. Children think they are the first one to say “Billy did it too”. Learn these for yourself but also learn them to teach your children not to use them. In order for you to do any action you must justify it to yourself in your own mind.